Saturday, January 1, 2011

FOR SALE BY ME

I never thought in a million years that THIS was going to be the hardest thing I'd have to do. I think I'd rather have 2 more babies than do this again.

My house. My beautiful house. The one that was recently featured in the local paper. 3 rooms! Everyone told me how georgeous my home was. "I can't believe your bedroom actually looks like that. Do you even sleep in there?" I have spent so many hours decorating, redecorating
moving furniture, scouring stores for a 'better' piece to accent my fabrics. I've done it all. Why? Because my home is my haven. Its what I love. Its what I do. Its the only thing that I know for sure. This house was going to sell within a week after hitting the market. No problem. Well, its been 52 days. Doesn't help that we put it up for sale in November, right before the holidays. Oh you should have seen is decorated for the holidays. Tasteful yet simple and all very color coordinated.

My realtor said, ''Don't worry, you'll sell. The people that come out this time of year are serious." Well, last count 16 people have walked through my house. 16 pairs of wet shoes. 16 realtors who have no idea how much time it took my husband to paint, repaint and re-repaint all those rooms. Or how long the staircase took to add endcaps, medallians and paint every single spindle. How gorgeous the crown molding and columns are in the living room and dining room and that it cost me a months paycheck to pay for it all. How my kitchen looks at 7:00pm in the summer when the sun is setting and turns the cabinets golden. How the patio feels at that time as we watch the farmer behind us plow the corn as he races up to finish his day. They have no idea how many trips I had the electrician come out so I could add just the right lighting to all my decor. How long it took us to save enough money for that nice pool and shed and ripped out the landscaping in the front and back to make it all perfect. The snow has covered my perennial garden. No one can see how beautiful that is in July. Would they even care? Would they love my house then???

As the days go on and the showings continue, my dream house starts to feel like just a dream. It sits and waits for me to come and finish. It is waiting for me to add all of the TLC and attention that I have put into this house. The attention to every detail as I have done with this house. The "stuff" that only I can do. Only I will be able to make it what it is as I have with this house. I'm starting to realize that maybe it is just a dream. And that 'this house' is where I belong. And because no one will ever see the beauty in it like I will. Maybe that's the dream.